--- title: "Empathy is the Antidote: Empowering Upstanders through Practice" description: On the other hand, if we model Upstander behavior that is neither bullying nor standing by passively, but proactively encourages respectful communication... image: https://www.tlpnyc.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Untitled-design-25.png --- [![tlp-png-logo-blue](https://www.tlpnyc.com/hs-fs/hubfs/tlp-png-logo-blue.png?width=276&height=137&name=tlp-png-logo-blue.png "tlp-png-logo-blue")](https://www.tlpnyc.com/) [212.625.8001](tel:212-625-8001) | [Blog](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog) - Our Programs - Businesses - [Business](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/businesses) - [Employee Management Training Program](https://www.tlpnyc.com/en-us/employee-management-training) - [Coaching](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/businesses/leadership-coaching) - [Ala Carte Workshop Menu](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/businesses/lp-workshop-listing) - [Colleges](https://www.tlpnyc.com/motivational-speakers-for-college-students) - Schools and Communities - [Schools and Communities](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/) - [Youth Development](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/youth-development) - [Staff Professional Development](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/professional-development) - [Family Engagement](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/family-engagement) - [CASEL Select Conflict Resolution Program](https://www.tlpnyc.com/casel) - [About Us](https://www.tlpnyc.com/about-us) - [Careers](https://tlpnyc.hire.trakstar.com/?) - [About Us](https://www.tlpnyc.com/about-us) - [Certified NYS & NYC Women Owned Business](https://www.tlpnyc.com/nys-certified-women-owned-business) - [ABC's of Leadership](https://www.tlpnyc.com/abcs-of-leadership) - [Resources and Tips](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog) - [Our Blog](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog) - [Books](https://www.tlpnyc.com/leadership-marketplace) - [Tips for Managers and Supervisors](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog/topic/business) - [Resources for School Staff and Adminstration](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog/topic/school) - [Professional Leadership Development](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog/topic/professional) - [Free Webinars](https://www.tlpnyc.com/free-workshops) - [Contact Us](https://www.tlpnyc.com/contact-us) [![Schedule a Consultation](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/2847193/7cd96dab-9a5f-430e-a043-72a0b53bf15d.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/2847193/7cd96dab-9a5f-430e-a043-72a0b53bf15d) ![](https://www.tlpnyc.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Untitled-design-25.png) # Empathy is the Antidote: Empowering Upstanders through Practice ![Greg Shamie](https://www.tlpnyc.com/hubfs/Staff%20Photos%201.15.2019/IMG_0947.jpeg) Greg Shamie ## Empathy is the Antidote: Empowering Upstanders through Practice ![Empathy is the Antidote: Empowering Upstanders through Practice](https://www.tlpnyc.com/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/Untitled-design-25.png) #### "Empathy", David Drexler, https://www.flickr.com/photos/drexler/ Our students often ask us, *what can I do if I see someone bullying someone else.* This is a great question as most people, not just children, don’t know what to do when they witness a bullying situation. In fact, Upworthy recently did [a piece on Finland](http://www.upworthy.com/finland-is-really-good-at-stopping-bullying-heres-how-theyre-doi), which has one of the most successful education systems in the world. They highlighted a new and highly effective bullying prevention program that Finland is using called, KiVa. In their program, like in ours, they focus on teaching ‘bystanders’ how to be more supportive and empathetic to the victims in the bullying situations. They do this using video games and simulations. Students will find themselves witnessing a bullying situation and will have to decide on what they will do in response. It gives the students the opportunity to practice ways to respond and then see how their actions lead to certain outcomes. In our program, Empowering Upstanders, we do similar type trainings for the students, instead with a face-to-face interaction that uses role plays. We act out bullying scenarios that are relevant to the students and then students practice strategizing what they would do in the role of witness/bystander in those situations. Again, we place the spotlight on the witness/bystander and we have them practice ways they would interact with the bullying scenario. Students experience live what happens based on the choices they make. If they aggressively confront the bully and tell them to stop then they can experience the situation getting worse. We then stop the scene, discuss what we observed based on the choices that were made, give some alternate strategies for the witness/bystander to try, and then give them another opportunity to explore. We teach our students the goal is always to make the situation better or cooler or calmer. Even though intentions may be good in trying to be an Upstander, if the situation starts getting worse, than it is time for another tactic. That is why the most important part is the support we provide for the person being hurt (as seems to be the case in the KiVa program). This empathy piece combined with a pro-active awareness to respond and help diffuse bullying situations is at the core reducing bullying incidents. When we take the focus off the bully and place it on the witness/bystander with the goal of becoming Upstanders, we begin to shine the light on the positive. Click the link to see some of [our Upstanders in action](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/empowering-upstanders).   **Tags:** [Professional](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog/topic/professional) ![Greg Shamie](https://www.tlpnyc.com/hubfs/Staff%20Photos%201.15.2019/IMG_0947.jpeg) ### By Greg Shamie Greg Shamie is the Director of Staff Development at The Leadership Program, having been with the company for over 18 years. An internationally recognized facilitator, keynote speaker, and strategic coach, Greg’s focus is to inspire individuals to go beyond what they believe is possible. He loves the concept of Leadership no matter what a person’s role and is committed to helping people expand their perspectives on how to set and achieve their goals. He has presented internationally on such topics such as, “Leading By Example”, “Finding the Leader Within”, "Perseverance and the Power of Failure”, “Delivering Dynamic and Compelling Presentations”, and many more. He currently serves on the Board of Directors for Broadway Inspirational Voices (BIV) in New York City. Greg received his Masters in Educational Theatre from NYU. His professional mantra is ‘Connecting people and performance to purpose’. Comments \[0\] [Click here to read/write comments](https://www.tlpnyc.com/blog/empowering-upstanders#comments-listing) #### The Leadership Program 122 East 42nd Street, Floor 4 #1027 New York, NY 10168 Tel: 212-625-8001                             Business Programs [Business Overview](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/businesses) [Employee Management Training](https://www.tlpnyc.com/employee-management-training) [Coaching](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/businesses/leadership-coaching) [Workshops](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/businesses/lp-workshop-listing) [Education Programs](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/youth-development) [College Overview](https://www.tlpnyc.com/motivational-speakers-for-college-students) [Schools and Communities Overview](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/) [Youth Development](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/youth-development) [Staff Professional Development](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/professional-development) [Family Engagement](https://www.tlpnyc.com/our-programs/schools-and-communities/family-engagement) [About Us](https://www.tlpnyc.com/about-us) Who We Are [Careers](https://tlpnyc.hire.trakstar.com/?) 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