If I eat too much I don’t feel good. If I play with my kids too much I don’t feel good. If I am away from my kids too much I don’t feel good. If I fight too much I don’t feel good. If I keep quiet too much I don’t feel good. If I drink too much I don’t feel good. If I think too much I don’t feel good. If I look at the news too much I don’t feel good. If I sit too much I don’t feel good. If I try too much I don’t feel good. If I go too much I don’t feel good. If I spend too much money at Target I don’t feel good. If I forget to clean too much I don’t feel good. If I apologize too much I don’t feel good. If I have too much fountain-diet-coke-with-extra-ice I don’t feel good. If I say yes too much I don’t feel good. If I say no too much I don’t feel good. If I worry too much I don’t feel good. If I look in the mirror too much I don’t feel good.
Too much is… well… too much. If I’m in the “too much” category of anything it throws everything out of whack. Our lives are a delicate balance of keeping all the parts and pieces from teetering into the “too much.”
Except, maybe…
Forgiveness?
Acceptance?
Generosity?
I’m not sure what areas are exempt from the “too much” rule, because the truth is, what is too much for me might be just enough for you. What is not enough for me might be way over the top for you. Our “too much” thresholds are different. I might think that a limitless supply of hugs is just right, thank you very much, while you might start to cringe at the sight of me coming because I’ve totally invaded your hug threshold. You might think that you are modeling good healthy living with your kale/quinoa/tomato/exotic-seed-designed-to-cure-all-that-ails-us dinner post, while I might be so exhausted I just need to make some spaghetti in peace already.
My kids are still trying to figure this out. My four-year-old, if I giggle when he bonks me on the head, is just as likely to cock a southpaw at my jaw for a greater laugh. My seven-year-old, if I admire her sparkly powder, is just as likely to come downstairs with her face caked in so much makeup she looks like something out of a sideshow. Balance, it turns out, is an acquired act. Some of us never get there.
So what’s too much? I don’t know… but I know it when I’ve reached it. Perhaps that is the best all of us can do—to pay attention to the “too much” thresholds in ourselves and in others and to delicately work to step back, gently, into the arena of “just right.”
How can you be “just right” today?
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