I'm Righter Than You

It seems to me lately that everyone has an overwhelming need to be right.

The controversial Miley Cyrus performance at the recent Video Music Awards has prompted countless blogs, on-line discussions, letters, and articles—moms declaring that we need to teach our young daughters that they are not sexual creatures; dads declaring that we need to teach our young sons not to be sexual hound dogs. Fellow musicians declaring that Miley shouldn’t use her body to sell albums. People pointing fingers in every direction about who is to blame, who is wrong, and what Must Be Done.

The partial government shutdown (and really, just the government, always) also had people on all sides of the aisle certain of their rightness. The Democrats blame the Republicans, the Republicans blame the Democrats, the Tea Party blames everybody, citizens across America blame the President, each other, the Bushes, the Clintons, the Lincolns (okay, I don’t think people are actually blaming the Lincolns). But again, people are pointing fingers in every direction about who is to blame, who is wrong, and what Must Be Done.

And honestly, if I see one more blog post or article that either defends or demonizes breastfeeding; or another assertion that Stay-At- Home Mothers are BEST or Working Mothers Clearly Take the Cake… Well, I just don’t know what.

Be wary of the “experts” out there; be wary of the ones speaking the loudest, the ones puffed up with pride at their smart position.

You know what I think? Everybody listed above is probably both a little bit right and a little bit wrong. Most of the time that’s how it goes. Even in the things that I’m the most “right” about, there is usually a hint of wrong that could stand correcting.

If we would stop stomping around demanding our prize for being right, if we would stop pointing fingers in every direction about who is to blame, who is wrong, and what Must Be Done… if we did that, I think we’d actually get much further in this world.

Because when I am so focused on getting you to see that I am right, I’m not actually listening, and I’m certainly not considering other perspectives. And of course, when people don’t automatically see me in all my Glorious Rightness, it’s also very easy for me to become indignant and victimized, throwing my hands up at the impossibility of it all. And that doesn’t get us anywhere.

So I think we should all give up our burning need to be RIGHT, and focus on other more important needs… the need to be kind, the need to listen, the need to understand.  Because it’s undeniably true that what is right for me just might not be right for you. And what’s right for both of us might be so much cooler than what was right for just one of us. And what’s right for all of us… well, you see what I mean.

How can you let go of your need to be “right” ?

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